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Dealing with angry individuals causes a great deal of stress, and if it is not handled appropriately it can cause serious health and other serious issues. Whether you are an individual or a legal professional you will frequently come in contact with angry individuals when dealing with a legal issue. Contrary to popular belief these individuals will not always be the parties involved in the legal issue but can be law enforcement personnel, court personnel, and acquaintances of clients or the parties involved in the legal issue. I like to classify these individuals into the following three categories in order to get a better understanding of how to effectively deal with their anger :
- Self-righteous angry person – This individual has a benevolent view of themselves and believe that their angry outbursts and behavior is warranted because they are “angry for the cause”. This cause can be a self manufactured cause like those that have taken up the cause to protest at deceased homosexuals funerals. In there God-like role that these individuals take on they believe it is there God-given mission to protect the world from the “evil” of homosexuality by disrupting the time and space that friends and family use to say farewell to their beloved. The goal of the self-righteously angry person is to express their zeal for their cause against those that dare to go against the aim of their cause.
- Arrogant angry person – This type of anger is usually derived from the belief that the person is entitled to something and when that is threatened all kinds of mayhem and injustice ensues. The extreme of this behavior is at the root of gangs, hate groups, and evil militias. The goal here is to put the target or targets back in “their place”. That place being the place the arrogant person believes to be appropriate. Whether that be the display of weak and mouse like characteristics or a physical place. This type of anger is usually displayed by law enforcement officials, individuals in leadership roles, and other authority fiigures that believe that their role entitles them to the degree of respect that a person must not speak up against abusive, unethical, unjust, and illegal behavior.
- Vindictive angry person – This person is a little different from the previous two as the anger is not derived from false ego attachments or some twisted cause to push forward, but is purely based on anger and anger alone. The goal and aim is a little different than the anger that is based in self-righteousness or arrogance in that the submission to the beliefs or surrender will not quench the fire of the angry person. This individual’s anger is only satiated with harming an individual to the level and degree that they believe that they have experienced or believe that their target should experience. For example, in divorce cases an abusive spouse is not satisfied with obtaining a favorable outcome in a divorce settlement, but sometimes only the death of the spouse that should dare to actually leave their tyrannical union is enough to quench the flame of anger.
With a basic understanding of the different types of angry individuals that you may come in contact with it is important to clearly identify the type of angry person you are dealing with before determining the best way to deal with the person or people involved. All methods will not work for every type of angry person because the root of their anger is stemming from different places and therefore if you provide a response that you would employ with a self-righteously angry person against a vindictively angry person the result can be ineffective and disastrous. For example, lets say that you are going through a custody dispute with an abusive ex-partner. Abusive ex-partners tend to fall in the category of displaying vindictive anger so if you take the advice of well meaning individuals to file a restraining order against this individual without taking any other type of precautions this restraining order may be the match that lights the flame that transforms the anger into a rage that the individual demonstrates in very harmful and even deadly ways. There are examples after examples of this type of rage that resulted in the death of attorneys, court personnel, witnesses, and parties in a case. The best technique to deal with angry individuals is to first determine where their anger is stemming from.
- Does the individual feel as if some divine law has been violated, and they have been appointed by some higher authority to right this wrong? In this case their is no need of engaging with this individual because any discourse will only fuel the flames, and will not change this individuals ideology and self-appointed God-hood.
- Does the person feel entitled to a thing, position, or some type of special treatment? In this case legal action may be necessary. This can be in the form of a restraining order, complaint, or lawsuit. Since this individual’s ego has convinced them that they are entitled to a thing, position, special treatment, or even a person or people only someone or entity that has a higher authority than them can convince them otherwise.
- Does the person believe that you should experience some level of discomfort or harm because they feel violated or harmed? To offer a cookie cutter solution to this individual may do more harm than good, but the best solution is to understand that ignoring this type of individual in the hopes they will stop their behavior is unlikely because this individual’s anger will typically not be satisfied until they inflict some kind of harm.
It can be extremely stressful when you are at the receiving end of an angry individual’s outbursts regardless of who the individual is but with the correct knowledge, the application of wisdom, and courage you can regain peace and calm in your life. Start busting your stress today by finding effective techniques to deal with angry individuals. Your Health and Well-Being Depends on it!